you’re so wrong about me

It’s fascinating to see those people around me evolve in a way that I never expected them to be. Most of them change in a good way–they have a steady job, happy lives and basically contented on what and where they are now. Being classified as one of them is my only wish right now. I will be graduating soon, whew! It seems only yesterday that I first step in a huge university not knowing where to go and what to do. Honestly, after four years, nothing has change, I may be more knowlegable, much wiser than I was before but really nothing has change. I still feel that I am that freshman student lost in a big school. The only difference is that this time, I am not lost  in a four-walled lot but in a place gazillion times bigger than that, a place where there are no guards that gives you directions when your lost, no admin that constantly reminds you on what and what not to do and no professors that gives you step-by-step instructions. A place called life. It’s funny that I survived college, uncertain. Uncertain about my course, uncertain on million little things. I am completely aware that I don’t have a specialty, I may be good on some things but I was never expert on one thing. I don’t have that skill in drawing(unlike most of my cousins), I’m not good in writing, when it comes to communicating with others, I’m not good either and(a big shocker) I don’t do well in chemistry. But despite of that, I still chose a medical course, a course not only recquires me to take one chemistry subject but a course that demands me to take all different kinds of chemistry subjects–general chem, organic chem, inorganic chem, physical chem, pharm chem, name it, i had it and more importantly had overcome it. Looking back on those semesters that I’m taking those subjects there’s only one thing that I think “keeps me going”. It’s the attitude/belief that I can do anything. It’s an ambitious, ego-feeding belief I know. But up until know I still believe that I can do anything if I set my mind on to it. I have this thirst to prove something. A relative once told me that I should be like my parents. Be like my parents in terms of what?, Am I bad?, Have I done anything wrong for her to say that? That statement had been haunting me ever since. I don’t want to be my parents’ clone. I want to be somebody! Somebody who can do better than others, somebody who can surpass and even exceed all the expectations that are thrown at her, somebody who will leave an impression to everyone not because of her parents but because she is something.

To all my detractors, downers, and haters(there are any).. equipped with my positive attitude.. just wait and see. I WILL BE THAT SOMEBODY! SOON.